


Dennysman

by manboppis



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: dennys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2019-10-11 13:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17448212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manboppis/pseuds/manboppis
Summary: A special little man gets a special little treat at his favorite Dinner in America in Japan... Or so he thinks...............





	1. Chapter 1

**Dennysman Chapter 1**   
  
_**The Birth(day coupon)** _

 

* * *

 

It was sweltering- the sun beat down onto the earth over a school located in Japan. Outside that school happened to be a young man leaning against a tree watching some babes playing volleyball.  However.. They did not hold his attention for long because Akira is gay. He reached inside of his pocket, grasping ahold of something waxy with his gay little hand.   
  
“Akira!” Called out a voice.   
  
This youthful looking lad’s attention was then directed away from this somewhat waxy, almost papery object he had in his hand- but instead towards the voice.   
  
“Hey Miki!” Called back Akira, relieved that she had FINALLY shown up.    
  
“Sorry… You must’ve been waiting a long time.. Right?” Miki sheepishly laughed, somehow being apologetic.   
  
“Oh it's okay! I was reading something in the library so it wasn’t so bad.”    
  
“You should join some sort of club! Sports are good you know!” Miki pushed.

  
In Fact, she pushed sports onto Akira so often. It really _ egged _ him on- sort of like the deal you can get for just $6 at Dennys- Eggs in a Basket! Eggs in a Basket is one of the cheapest ways to get your fill for eggs; Two eggs fried right into the center of grilled Cheddar bun halves. Served with two slices of bacon and crispy hash browns cooked with diced bacon and shredded Cheddar cheese..   
  


“ Well putting that aside, I think I have something that I would like to share with you, Miki.” Said Akira shyly, bringing forth the waxy, shiny, glossy, weird looking piece of paper with a bold yellow background and extravagant looking font type colored red. The font was so elegant, yet so simple. It was homey, and perfectly showcased itself as a family-styled looking piece of paper with a bold yellow background and extravagant looking font type colored red. That font spelled out.. 

  


 

“D.. e...n..n...y..s.”   
  
Miki curiously looked over to what was in Akira’s hand, seeing this glorious name, smiling widely!    
  
“Nu fu fu!” She giggled, “Fudou Akira is so proper! Nihihihi! I've heard all about that place!”

“R-really? Oh that's good.. i've never been there before.. i-i...i got this in the mail the other day for my birthday.”  Looking down at his hand, Akira studied the coupon. “it says.. i can get a full sized entre.. for free with a purchase of another meal..”

Miki Makimura bounced up happily, grinning wide. “Oh that's so cool, Accura! If you need that second entree fulfilled…we could go together!”

Akira nervously nodded, “well, i suppose that's alright. It'll be a lot more convenient for the both of us..”   
  


As the two walked onward discussing their favorite appetizers and breakfast items- and the brand new PANCAKE EXPERIENCE! at Dennys. It was incredible- they reworked their recipe and added good stuff like fresh buttermilk, real eggs, flour and a hint of vanilla! The result? Fluffier, tastier, and better buttermilk pancakes that might be better than yours...or your dead dad's...or even your deader dead grand dad's.Unfortunately, the wonderful and delightful conversation came to a halt when Accura Food bumped right into a weird looking dude.

He had ebony black hair (thats probably how he got his name) with purple streaks and red tips that reached his mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell him that he looks like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). He’s not related to Gerard Way but he wishes he was because he’s a major fucking hottie. He looks like a vampire but his teeth are straight and white. He also has pale white skin. Hes also a witch, and goes to a magic school called Masa Bokuto in Japan where hes in his third year (he’s seventeen). He’s a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and wears mostly black. He loves Hot Topic and buys all his clothes from there. For example today he was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. He was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. He was walking outside Masa Bokuto. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which he was very happy about. 

A lot of demons stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Oh deary me I just kicked the bucket.” Said the gothic delinquent.   
  
Behind him was a couple of other delinquents. They weren’t nearly as well-dressed as he was.     
  
“Kid, hand over the Dennys Coupon.” Demanded the edgiest of the gothic delinquents there (he had a big scar on his face!!) ,“We still need to satisfy our appetites for the new S’mores Pancake Puppies- Six Pancake Puppies made with the flavors of graham cracker, chocolate and white chocolate chips, sprinkled with powdered sugar and served with a side of marshmallow cream for dipping.”   
  
“You dope!” Interjected Miki, “This coupon is only good for entrees, not appetizers! “

“AaaaawwWwwWwWWW! We can’t have the S’mores Pancake Puppies! HOW MEAN!” stomped the dorkiest looking delinquent of the group. He paused for only a slight second- only to laugh along with his fellow gothlings.    
  
“Aarrright now let me tell you something tough guy! Now either you give us the coupon or we break your neck!” The dorky one came closer, trying to compensate for his smaller stature in the group.    
  
The most fashionable gothic delinquent forcibly pushed Akira backwards, slamming him against the wall. Akira slid down the wall, clenching the coupon tightly in his hand. Miki was horrified from the brutality of the gothlings- however, she could understand where they were coming from. To get a Denny’s coupon for your birthday.. For a free entree with a purchase of another entree at your participating Denny’s location… was a once in a life time deal. 

The dorky gothling stepped up closer to Akira again, looking down at him menacingly.    
  
“Think of how it’d taste” He slurped,” Id sure love to eat that.!”   
  
Akira glared at them only for a second as he got up from the ground in attempt to escape the brutish thug gothlings- only to trip over his own foot.    
  
The gothlings laughed, “ Hey you know what? S’mores Pancake Puppies aren’t the only things we can get at Denny’s. We could get the Zesty Nachos which has tortilla chips cooked fresh to order- they’re topped with Pepper Jack queso, shredded Cheddar cheese, seasoned nacho meat, freshly made pico de gallo and sour cream. Now hand it over, kid!”    
  
The most fashionable goth came forward once more to the fallen Akira. From his hand he dropped down a bike chain, and firmly grasped it.    
  
“D’you know that eating too much Denny’s is very bad for your health?” sneered the fashionable goth.    
  
Akira got up- holding onto the coupon tightly and crumpling the crumpled wad even more.    
  
“ Look, I can't let you have it...I… “ Akira looked down at the ground, “ I just cant.”   
  
The edgy looking goth stood there in silence for about… one whole minute staring at Akira in disappointment. There was no way he could get s’mores pancake puppies or the zesty nachos now.    
  


“Yes you fucking can!!!!” Shouted the dorky goth.   
  
The dorky goth caught Akira off guard with a sharp kick in the side, landing Akira’s gay little ass right on the ground again. Somehow he was still holding onto that coupon with his all his might. Akira slid down the side of a dumpster as the fashionable goth approached him with a bike chain again.    
  
“Ah, gimmie that Denny’s coupon.”   
  
Akira looked the very fashionable goth right in the eyes, and slowly shook his head.    
  
“Y’know youre not tough or brave, just foockin stoopid, Ill have to knock some sense into ya!”   
  
The fashionable goth clenched his fist and held it to his chest for a brief moment before swinging forward with the bike chain towards Akira’ head. The bike chain struck the side of the dumpster and lodged itself in.    
  
The bike chain had frightened Akira. He glanced over at where the bike chain was stuck in the dumpster, and let out a concerned ‘oh’.   
  
“Hey, i’m warning you, kid! You better do what he says, this guys a real psycho once he gets pissed off with ya!” warned the dorky goth.   
  
Akira looked away from the bike chain towards the group of gothling delinquents.    
  
“Fuck you.”   
  
Those two words. Those two, single words absolutely destroyed the gothic delinquents. They were in pure shock. How could they EVER recover from such a harsh comeback??   
  
The edgy goth smirked, realizing the fashionable goth would snap at his lack for a better comeback - and so he did. The fashionable goth swung forward with the bike chain once more with a displeased look on his face. Akira’s forehead made contact with the bike chain, damaging the skin and causing him to bleed.    
  
Miki was disgusted, and figured enough was enough and a Denny’s coupon really wasn’t worth bloodshed over. She stepped in holding her bookbag and WHAM! BAM! SLAMMED the delinquents over the head with her amazing Miki Makimura strength.    
  
The gothlings came to their senses- realizing that perhaps.. They did go a little too far. It WAS a birthday coupon issued to Akira afterall.   
  
“Hey kid.” said the edgiest goth.   
  
Akira looked at him as he got up from the ground, still clenching onto the Denny’s coupon that was surprisingly not dust in his hands from how hard he was grasping onto it.   
  
“Yer a stoopid little fucker,” Apologized the edgy goth.    
  
Blood was rushing ALL OVER Akira’s face, and it sort of freaked out the gothlings. They were hardcore but not THAT hardcore. The edgy goth raised an eyebrow at the blood just gushing out of Akira’s head.    
  
“....But i’ll admit. One thing you’ve got is plenty of guts… So i guess it's only fair for us to overlook this nasty little incident.. But DON’T be an asshole in the future.” The gothlings walked off away from Miki and Akira. Miki rushed to Akira’s side, looking over his wound quickly.    
  
“I can’t believe those jerks! They’re rotten bullies!” Miki looked off into the direction the gothlings had walked off to and shouted “Cowards! You filthy scum! “   
  
“AW I’M SO SCARED!” Shouted the dorky goth sarcastically while he swung his arms around frantically.    
  
“Augh, Fucking bastards..” sighed Akira under his breath, dusting off his clothes.

 


	2. The Eggwakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Akira Foodo get his food on? Lets find out!

CHAPTER 2

The Eggwakening 

Miki led Akira to the infirmary of the school. She closed the curtains for privacy, and looked back towards Akira. He was standing in the doorway still like a dope. His forehead was still gushing blood from where the bike chain hit him. 

“Come on now! You’ve gotta let me clean that up!” she insisted, walking towards Akira.

“It doesn’t need cleaning up! Its only a tiny little scratch!” Akira replied, totally clueless by the disgusting amount of blood that was still coming out of his forehead wound. He looked like a human gusher!

Miki pointed towards the mirror in the room, telling Akira to take a look at how ‘little’ his scratch his actually was. She was right- this really, really did need cleaning out. 

“Eugh!” Said a disgusted Akira, looking back over at Miki apologetically. 

Miki stood there silently, pointing to the desk and chair that Akira began walking over to. He put up his briefcase onto the desk and took a seat, crumpled coupon still in hand. He unclenched his hand, looking at how the gloss of the paper began to fade from the wear of being crumpled so much. “I hope this can still be redeemed..”

Akira sighed worriedly , and looked up at Miki. 

“Ever since my parent’s disastrous expedition to the south pole, bad luck just seems to be a real good friend of mine. “

“Well that’s rubbish, because i’m your bestest friend unless you think I’M bad luck.” said an insulted Miki. She took out cotton balls and a bottle of Peroxide to clean the wound on Akira’s head, along with a band-aid to cover it all.

“No, of course you’re right! Its ridiculous , im just being damn stupid.” he apologized sheepishly while he fished out a cloth from his pocket to help clean the blood off of his face. 

“Anyway, its not your fault. Its those stupid idiots who hit you for S’more Pancake Puppies. It makes me so cross that they can do that to someone and walk away scott free!” 

Miki opened the bottle of peroxide and poured some onto a cotton ball to clean the wound as Akira wiped down his face from the blood. She stooped down to the level he was sitting at and asked him to lift his head up. She moved Akira’s bangs away from his head, and applied the peroxide-coated cotton ball to his forehead. 

 

Akira almost shot back from the pain, wincing. “Ouch god, thats painful!”

“Oh what a fuss you make! Even my little brother doesnt complain as much as you do!” Miki teased. 

After she had cleaned the wound, Miki and Akira put away the medical supplies. 

“Oh! Wait! One more thing, Akira!” Said Miki as she went over to the desk Akira sat at- “We forgot about your band-aid. “

She applied the band-aid head-on, directly to his forehead.

“Thanks very much!” Akira thanked, looking down to miki. 

“That’s all right, its the least I can do to put on a plaster. Besides- you can’t go to Denny’s looking like that!”

Akira smiled shyly again at the mention of Denny’s. Boy, was he ready to taste those sweet, fluffy, luxurious pancakes. He thought of them coated in soft, melting butter with warm syrup poured all over the tops of them. God, it was such a warming and welcoming thought after the experience he had only a few moments ago. That peroxide was WAY worse than the bike chain. 

Miki and Akira began to make their way out of the school finally, walking down the streets of the city to make their way to the #1 Family Diner in America in Japan, Denny’s! They passed by many buildings- lots which had advertisements in their windows. Most of them were food related.. But alas, none contained a single word or image relating to Denny’s food and drink sales. Akira sighed at the disappointment of not being able to view constant, luscious pancakes staring right at him as he walked down the street towards his destination. Miki saw the disappointment in Akira’s eyes as they viewed various advertisements for food- and firmly grasped his hand to lead him forward. 

“Let’s take the shortcut!” Miki said with a smile, attempting to comfort Akira. She let go of his hand and strode towards Denny’s together. 

In only a matter of minutes thanks to Miki’s wonderful navigation skills- they reached Denny’s. It was glorious. The warm, deep red roof was oh-so inviting. The beautiful, graceful looking logo emblazoned upon the building that spelt out its name was elegant. The small puddles of oil leakage shined iridescent in the parking lot, the well-kept glistening windows that would strike distrust into the hearts of all birds… It was beautiful. Akira couldn’t imagine anything that could possibly beat this wonderful imagery that was before him….but he also.. Didn’t know that his world was about to change..

The door chimed as Miki and Akira made their way into the Denny’s . Akira and Miki looked around, seeing how dead it looked on the inside. How insulting to such a legendary place. Softly over the intercom was playing “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole- it really did make the atmosphere incredible. 

The two glanced at a sign directing them to ‘seat themselves’ that was stationed near the front door , then proceeded to walk forward to the counter in the back- lined up with clean , fresh looking dining stools. The smell of the lumber and sawdust was still lingering upon the fine seating fixtures, that is how fresh. Both of them took a seat in the vastly empty Denny’s, carefully placing their backpacks onto the countertop. 

They looked around cluelessly- not a single soul was tending to the back area of Denny’s! Akira sighed, taking the coupon out of his pocket once more. 

“Perhaps.. It just wasn’t meant to be.” muttered a disappointed Akira, tightening his grip on the coupon once more as he looked upwards slowly, tears glistening in his eyes. 

“Akira! Akira Fudou!” Exclaimed an oh-so handsome voice

Akira’s attention shot over to the super-sexy and wondrous voice. 

This voice belonged to an amazing human figure- Medium-length wavy blonde hair, glistening blue eyes hidden behind shades tinted purple. Upon this “human” was a bold red shirt fitted like a polo- but with an accented collar of white. On the breast laid a logo that reminded the customers of where they were- in case they had forgotten… Denny’s, is what it read. Tied to his waist was a black apron fitted to hold various objects that were essential for the true Denny’s Experience™- straws, for example. His pants were the color of Jake from State Farm’s khakis, and to top it all off- he had a trench coat overlaid on top of this classic outfit, giving him a stylish look reminiscent to the working class of the 90’s. Truly, it was the decade and pinnacle of fashion itself. 

Akira was not able to break free of the well-dressed stranger’s gaze as he tried to think of who this person could be, since the well-dressed oh-so-sexy stranger knew who he was. He looked at him. And He looked back. But he also looked at him for a little longer, while he continued to walk closer in slow motion. Time seemed to have slowed down as this gorgeous, angelic looking figure came closer to him. His hair bounced softly, just as a light breeze went through every single strand of hair, exposing his beautifully enormous forehead- while he made constant eye contact with Akira. 

“Oh, of course!” Exclaimed Akira, “It’s my old friend Ryo! How the hell have you been keeping then?” He excitedly projected.

Miki turned to Akira and glanced to Ryo then back at him. Akira had never been so enthused to see her like this in the past. Akira turned to Miki, smiling and gesturing towards Ryo, his old friend. 

“Miki, let me introduce you to Ryo, from my old school! He was my best friend!” 

Miki stared blankly at Ryo, wondering why on earth she had never heard of this good looking character before. After all, if he was such a good friend of Akira’s, you think he would’ve mentioned him before! Akira then addressed Ryo to Miki, and Miki stated that ‘it was a great pleasure’ although we all knew she was seething with jealousy. 

“Akira.. I need you to awrder sowmethin immeediately..” Ryo demanded gently, pulling out his notepad. 

Akira fumbled with the menu on the counter top, pulling it open quickly. He was so blown away by the magnificent interior and the emptiness of the America’s #1 Diner in Japan, that he had forgotten to even check the menu out.

“O-oh um.. Im sorry but.. Could you give me a minute?” Akira asked quietly, embarrassed he had spent an hour and a half in the establishment without even addressing the menu for his dining choice.

He looked over the menu carefully; his eyes gazing over delicious items such as Peanut Butter Cup Pancake Breakfast, The Grand Slam Slugger, and the New! Sticky Bun Pancake breakfast… boy did that look delicious. The Sticky Bun Pancake Breakfast featured cinnamon sauce and cream cheese icing drizzled over two new fluffy buttermilk pancakes with glazed pecans cooked inside- served with two eggs and hash browns, plus a choice of two strips of bacon or two sausage links! Akira’s mouth watered heavily at the description- until Ryo began to speak up again, grabbing his attention once more.

“Might i suggest.. The Moons Over My Hammy? It’s a delicious meal containing awr classic ham and scrambled egg sandwich with Swiss and American cheeses on grilled sourdough-also served with haysh browns.” Nudged Ryo, hoping this poor incredibly indecisive young man would make up his mind.

Miki shook her head- “Wait a minute, you’re not REALLY going to order that- are you?”

Akira nodded,”well, it does sound promising Miki!”

“Ryo, I don’t think Akira should have that as a meal. He doesn’t even really like eggs that much!” interjected Miki.

“I dont give a shit, this is very important.” replied Ryo, very monotonous. He scribbled down “Moons Over My Hammy”, and looked up at Akira once more. 

“Haow do you want yowr ehggs?” Ryo asked, giving Akira the most flirtatious eye flutter. (pls..imagine it.. Its good shit)

Akira took a moment to pause and think for himself for once. How did he want his eggs? Surely he’d have to choose something quite satisfactory for himself- otherwise it would be a waste of time. He looked to Ryo, his old friend, with a steely gaze. There was only silence for about a minute until finally- a thought popped into his head. A devious, devilish thought. 

“Deviled.” 

Ryo smirked as he scribbled down ‘deviled’. Surely… he knew where this was going….Ryo couldn’t help but to chuckle as he put away his pen.   
Miki looked at Ryo, insulted she hadn’t received any attention from him at all. Akira fortunately caught on, and spoke up about it. 

“Ryo, would it be okay if Miki were to get her order taken?”

Ryo stood in silence for a few seconds with a vacant look on his face, looking directly at Miki. Miki, about to speak up then had been greeted with a sharp looking, flat headed spatula to the throat. Akira moved Miki away from the spatula by rotating the chair.

“What the hell’re you doing?!” Akira demanded softly.

“THE GURL STARVES HERE!” Calmly shouted Ryo. “Now come awn… we have to get a move awn…”

Ryo grasped Akira’s hand without any further explanation, leading him out of the amazing, brilliant Dennys…. to his sick af Audi 80 B3. The vehicle was parked behind the Number One Family Diner in America in Japan’s lot, out of sight. Akira got into the car without another word. As he closed the door, he peered behind him one last time, catching a glimpse of Miki as Ryo pulled away from the glorious establishment. Miki shouted Akira’s name incorrectly once again as they drove off into the distance.


	3. DENNYSMAN CHAPTER 3 The

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryo dad is NOT a dennys stan >:((((((((((((((

Akira shifted uncomfortably in the back seat, glancing out of the window, then shifting forward after Ryo had driven for some time. There was a spatula sitting shotgun, buckled up safely, snugly, and securely….pretty much snug as a bug in a rug in the Audi 80 B3.

“So c’mon then Ryo,” he spoke, “What’s happenin’ man? And what’ve you got that Spat for?”

“Because i’m in terrible danger.” Ryo replied sexily. His words were as smooth as Denny’s Signature Diner Roasts™. 

“But… You could easily hurt someone!”

“That’s the idea!” 

Before Akira new it, they were Running in the 90’s. Ryo was done waiting for traffic lights- so he stepped on the gas gas gas. Ryo drifted onto the next road, nearly hitting a man. The man was so upset that he almost got hit that he yelled ‘fuck’. 

Akira held onto dear life, nearly knocking his head onto the window because he was stupid and had not put his seat belt on yet. He was knocked all around the car’s interior. Surely if this kept on he would never, ever get his pancakes he so craved. Ryo sped onto the bridge, the car finally came to a reasonable speed again. Akira regained his posture in the car, wiping the sweat from his brow. Ryo then cut the 4 second silence.

“My fathers dead.”

Akira’s eyes fluttered softly, making eye contact with Ryo in the rear view mirror. “Im sorry to hear that… What happened? Did… he have an accident?”

“No… It wasn’t an accident. “ Ryo paused for suspense. “ It was suicide.”

Akira’s eyes widened in shock, feeling pain for his best friend Ryo. Ryo continued on, describing the downfall of his father.

“He covered himself in grease and had a last cigarette… It’s true what they say. Fast Food is bad for your health.. Especially when it’s your own flesh you’re frying… There was nothing I could do to stop him. I couldn’t even get near him from the heat… and all the time he kept on pauwrin on more grease… The first clue I had that something was wrong was when I found Mcdonald’s Fries scattered on our front lawn.”

Ryo tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he recalled this painful, god awful memory. Sweat began dripping down his brow as he continuously spoke in a monotonous sexy manner. The flashback was all too real for him.

Ryo swung open the door to his father’s study. The floor was covered in ketchup packets and french fries. He swore he saw some advertisements for ihop as well. 

“Dad, McDonald's is scattered on our front lawn!” 

The father began to chuckle as he smoked dank weed. “Don’t worry about it Ryo… its nothing.”

He moved his hand upward to signify he should perhaps get the fuck out of there. His sleeve was stained in ketchup- he really ought to use a Tide™ stain removal pen… or even Tide To Go™! Tide to Go is the #1 instant stain remover* and helps remove some of your toughest fresh food and drink stains. (*Based on sales)

Ryo gasped in horror as he realized his father was smokin the dank weed. It was horrifying. He thought he had switched to Vape Nation for good. The weed clouds filled the room rapidly. 

“The fries were cold. So i had to throw the mangy son of a bitch. Hehehe… You should’ve seen them fly… they sounded like rocks as they smashed against the grass…”

The father laughed maniacally as the dank weed™ fell from his mouth. The ketchup was also all over his face and glasses.

Ryo remained silent in the car as he drove on towards their destination as he recalled the upcoming flashback. 

The night brought storms- storms that Ryo slept right through. Storms that were as tWiStEd As My MiNd!!!! Until… his father was looming over him with a hand full of Bob Evan’s Twisted Cheese Sticks. The strong scent of betrayal awoke Ryo from his peaceful slumber. His loyalty to Denny’s was not to be fucked with- Denny’s mozzarella sticks were the only sticks of mozzarella for him. 

The father attempted to shove the Twisted (that proves they are evil) Cheese Sticks into Ryo’s mouth, but Ryo quickly pushed his father’s arms away from him, flinging the sticks of cheese that were twisted (evil) everywhere. 

“What’re you doing?!” Shouted Ryo like a 13 year old minecraft let’s player that just had his dad walk in on him let’s playing minecraft on part 803 while drinking his Gamer Fuel™ Mountain Dew™ and snacking down on doritos that were also flavored like Mountain Dew™so his hands were all crusty and his buttons sticked to the controller and there was always constant feedback in the microphone of his bargain-brand “turtle beach” headset.

His father backed away quickly in a panic- realizing what he had nearly done to his son…..he could’ve lost subscribers. Ryo called out to his Father that now seemed to be having a fit- he probably realized that the Twister Cheese Sticks were evil. Ryo sat up in his bed as his father scampered away in fear. 

“You mean he tried to kill you?!” Interjected Akira. “Incredible.” he said in awe.

“And then, he fried.” Ryo recalled as he gazed into the steely behind of the truck that was in front of him. 

The car ride was silent for some time, Akira holding onto his grumbling stomach. He was still so hungry- after all, Ryo didn’t even make their food for them. The clouds were colored a beautiful red and yellow- just like the amazing logo of Denny’s. Akira leaned back in the back seat, overwhelmed by the horrific event he had just been told. 

“Well… If you think that’s weird, wait till you hear about the autopsy of his corpse. He weighed twice as much dead than he did when he was alive. You see. He wasn’t the only thing that had died.”

“Oh my god, what do you mean he wasn’t the only thing that died?” Questioned Akira.

“Well, that’s my fahtha’s legacy. It’s a terrible dark secret and I just can’t carry the burden alone. If there wasn’t to much at stake, i’d spare you of its horror. As it is, I need someone I can trust to share its secret with me.”

Ryo made eye contact with Akira in the backseat from the rear view mirror.

“Akira, I want you to accept the responsibility of my Fatha’s legacy with me.”

Akira stayed silent for the rest of the trip to wherever Ryo was taking him. It was nightfall by the time they reached their destination. It was Ryo’s sweet crib. Akira recalled seeing an episode of Cribz on MTV with this very house. 

Ryo opened up the front gates with a push of the button on a remote located in his car. He pulled forward, parked the car, and got out with Akira. He led them to the front door which was covered with an insane amount of locks. It took them 10 minutes to get inside from how many locks he had to unlock. 

Ryo opened the front door for Akira, and closed it behind them. He then set all the locks again for the front door-even a My Password Journal©, which he had been using since he was 16-and began walking up the steps.

“Is it okay for me to wear my shoes in here?” Asked Akira politely.

“I don’t give a shit.” 

Ryo continued onwards, Akira soon tailing after him. They began heading to the second floor of the establishment. From the one episode of cribs, he recalled that down the hall there should be a sweet hot tub with bubble jets and a water-proof Xbox 360 that his father got from Nintendo. Ryo soon spoke up once again.

“You remember that my father is an archaeologist, yeah?” 

“Oh yeah! He was pretty famous.”

“Yeah… well- he was investigating some Mayan ruins and made an interesting discovery. He’d been ferning about in some undergrowth away from the main dig when he slipped and fell down a hole. He discovered it wasn’t so much a hole as a tunnel. Naturally, being curious, he followed it.” He paused near a doorway, turning back to Akira. “It led miles down into the bowels of the Earth.”

Ryo finally took his aviators off even though the sun had set 2 hours ago. His beautiful, luxurious eyelashes fluttered elegantly, showcasing his beautiful blue eyes. 

“What he found down there was a very unusual artifact.”

Ryo placed his hand onto the doorknob and twisted it open. He allowed Akira to go first before closing the door behind them once more.

“J-jesus.. It’s cold.” Akira complained, investigating the room. This looked nothing like the big screened theatre that was showcased in the MTV show Cribs. It should’ve had 4 rows of seating- not 5. He turned back to Ryo asking why it was so cold in that room.

“Its cold because of the artifact.” Stated Ryo, pointing towards where the Artifact was located. 

The appearance startled Akira- it made him yell “Fwa!!” and “It’s Horrible!” In sequential order. He hid behind an open doorway, peering behind, looking at the horrible object that made him go ‘Fwa!’. 

“Relax,” Coaxed Ryo while yelling calmly, “It’s quite dead.”

“Dead?” Asked Akira, slowly coming out of his hiding place.

“Remind you of anything?”  
“It looks like a demon!” Joked Akira. 

Ryo let out a small chuckle, smirking at Akira’s response. It was so sexy. He began to walk closer to the artifact. “Doesn’t it? It’s exactly how people pictured demons.”

“So it’s a representation made by the ancient Mayans?” Accura foodo asked.

“No, it’s not. This comes before the diluvial epoch- long before the ice age even. This er… ‘artifact’ wasn’t made by any human being, you understand.”

“But surely, you can’t mean this could be a natural formation!” 

“Natural?” Ryo laughed, “ No not exactly. This thing was shaped by forces very UNnatural.” He paused for a moment, studying the odd structure until finally he looked up at Akira again. “You see, this isn’t really an artifact at all.” 

“It’s not really an artifact?!” 

“ No to be exact- this is an extraordinary fossil. ITS THE SKULL OF A DEEMON!”

The wind began to blow harshly outside, rattling the foliage. The window panes shook slightly from the effects of the brutish wind. Ryo walked behind the skull of the demon and began lifting it upwards. 

“To the ancient Mayans, this was the most important religious icon in existence. It possess special magical powars.” Stated Ryo as he began to hold the skull over his head. “By placing it over your head it enables the wearer to see into the ancient world of demons.” He began lowering it onto himself, not breaking eye contact with Akira while doing so. “Now Akira… Its your turn to wear the demon skull!!”

Akira backed away slightly. The constant, unbreaking eye contact with this sexy, angelic looking man worried him slightly. “N-no fuckin way Ryo, im outta here!” 

Akira slowly started stepping away further from Ryo, only for Ryo to take a few steps closer and shout “CMERE” While still wearing the demon skull over his head. Still not breaking eye contact. 

“Gosh, i’ll be seeing you soon! B-bye!” Akira turned to flee, just as Ryo pleaded him to stay with a “ You have to stay and try this awn!”

Akira turned around, reluctant to continue staying. This was getting really freeeekay.   
“Akira! Only by looking into the past, you understand what may occur in the future!... It is a pawrt of my fawtha’s legacy.” Ryo removed the Demon’s skull, holding it above him again. 

Akira froze in his tracks, feeling guilty for attempting to leave his friend in his time of need.” Well..” He gulped, “Okay. Ill do it.”

Ryo began to walk towards Akira from behind, placing the Demon’s skull over Akira’s head. Akira shut his eyes tightly in fear as to what could possibly happen to him. He opened them fully the second the skull was completely placed over his head. He shrieked in terror at the visions he saw before him- and Ryo pleaded that he keep it on. After all, it was the only way that Akira would be capable of understanding of what he’s dealing with.

Thousands of fast food chain mascots and logos appeared before Akira in these hideous visions of the past from millions of years ago. They twisted and turned into horrific masses of what a mcdonald's hamburger looked like after 30 days of being out in the open- you know, those ones you see on youtube videos. Eventually, it led to a clearing that seemed peaceful, until these corporate asshole dinosaurs started screaming and shooting down Denny’s employees. It turns out- Demons had created Denny’s. The number one family diner in america that has over 1,600 restaurants in the United States (including Puerto Rico and Guam), Canada, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Curaçao, Costa Rica, Venezuela, Honduras, Japan (transliterated as デニーズ Denīzu), Mexico, New Zealand,Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates. Airhorns blasted violently and neon colors blazed into the iris’ of Akira foodo. He observed the world where... Denny’s wasn’t the #1 Family Diner of America… iHop and Wafflehouse reigned supreme…. And Bob Evans was there too. Probably. Who knew these companies were so… primal. 

Akira screamed in absolute horror. The imagery before him seemed to pull him inwards- into a hell where Denny’s was not supreme. Akira quickly took the demon skull off out of fear.


	4. CHAPTER 4 the eggscape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they eggscape the disasster

CHAPTER 4   
The Eggscape

 

Ryo lead the shaken Akira out to another room. He turned on the lights to reveal a room that had mold growing in corners of the ceiling- showcasing how much the place really went downhill since the last time Akira watched that episode of Cribs on MTV. The worst part was the curtains were pink and the bannister was green while the curtain rods were blue. God awful. There was also this nasty ass pennant on the wall. Totally out of place.    
  
“As you've seen, Demons are highly aggressive. They delight in destruction- however their fighting amongst themselves serves a purpose. It’s sort of a perverse version of Darwin’s theory of eeveelution…. When one demon absorbs another, it gains a special power making it a new demon. Sort of a stronger composite of the original two.”   
  
Akira looked up at Ryo, puzzled as all hell. Seriously how did this place get so run down since that episode of the Cribs. “Its incredible,” He softly spoke. “ To think demons once existed.” Although, It was becoming more believable the more he stared at this demonic interior design.    
  
Ryo spoke up once more- “There are more things than Heaven and Earth, Horatio or whatever Kanye West said.” he said cooly.   
  
Akira shuddered, looking at the floor. He was still completely shaken from the visions he had seen while wearing the demon skull. Ryo soon walked over and handed him an icy cold pouch of tasty af caprisun to hopefully cool his nerves some. Akira thanked Ryo and respectfully took the pouch. He sipped nearly all of it, then continued having a conversation with Ryo.   
  
“Well all I can say is that i’m damn glad there aren’t any demons around these days.” he sighed, “Just seeing what they’ve gone up to is enough to make me know the world is better off now.”   
  
“Yeah, it would be.” Chuckled Ryo. “If indeed it were really free of demons….But remember- Demons were supposed to be immortal… How can the world be free of something immortal?”   
  
Ryo moved away from the wall that he was leaning so cooly up against. He was so cool. He walked towards to the windoooooows, to the wall, and then back to the window again. He sighed briefly before continuing his creepypasta while looking into his reflection on the boarded up window. God  _ damn _ he looked fine. Absolutely Gucci.   
  
“ The fact that there's so many different stories from around the world relating to Demons suggests to me that they’re far from died out.” Ryo turned dramatically, fluttering his eyelashes. “ they’re still with us… Are you familiar with the work Danty The Divine Comedy?”    
  
Akira shook his head as he blew air into the Caprisun Pouch™.   
  
Ryo looked to to floor to retain the dramatic effect for his creepypasta. “ Danty was an extraordinary talented Poet of the 13th century. His Divine Comedy is a epic work chronicling his journey through Heaven, purgatory, and down into Hades. He wrote that down in hell he saw Demons frozen in ice… And in the very coldest of ice was the king of demons!!!11!1 This creature's name was  _ LUCIFER (If you don’t know who he is then GTFO!!!!)  _ … The evil one. You know.. The uh. Anti-Christ. He’s the the type to promise you chocolate chip cookies and give you oatmeal raisin instead. Pure. Evil.”   
  
Ryo took the time to stare out the window for a couple of minutes, looking over his beautiful, delicate features. “Now that’s only an old story but, then again…” Once again, he was absolutely Gucci. Wrow.    
  
Ryo’s attention was pulled back from his beautiful, bad self whence he heard a grumbling and rumbling from yonder direction opposite to he. Akira’s tummy wummy was wumbly umbly!! Akira blushed in embarrassment and turned away, in hopes that ryo wyo didn’t hear his widdle tummy gwowls!    
  
“Akira… are you perhaps… hungry?” questioned Ryo as he cascaded across the room to see his very dear and precious Akira-wumpy-kins.    
  
The one who had the stomach growl nodded slowly. “Y-yeah I suppose so… I didn’t get to have my munchies satisfied at Dennys, after all!”   
  
Oh yeah, if you didn’t know Akira was totally stoned the whole time. He’s been smoking big fat doinks. I figured you would already know that though, so that’s why I didn’t tell you up until now.

 

The blonde twink smiled twinkishly at the twunk. “Make sense. Sowry to taek you away from satisfying your gastric tank… but not to worrey… I have jus ta solution to fix your hungy wungy yummy bunnies……………..” Ryo motioned for the Akira Fudo boy to follow him.   
  
“Come here boy! Come here!” He whistled, patting his leg. Something quite jingly-jangly was pulled from his inner coat pocket- Keys! Wowww! The twinkie blonde jangled the keys in his hands, enticing Fudo to come forth. Akira bounded forward, excited by the sound of Jingling keys. In his excitement, he popped the Caprisun pouch with his hands. He was so, so strong. You could just feel his sheer power through the popping of the Caprisun pouch. Hot.    
  
Ryo smirked as Akira bounded forward, and lead him to his ultra sick-garage that i’ve never mentioned before that they totally parked the car in. “Com awn boi! Yew cahn even sit in the front seat this time!!! :)”   
  
They scoured the absolutely humongous lot for the perfect car for them to ride to their destination. Perfect replicas of Batmobiles, that one car from the movie about going to the future again, Various Mystery Machines, a pikachu punch buggy, a hatsune miku themed hummer, the mach 5,  and even an Oscar Mayer Hot Dog mobile….it was all so enticing. However… they were not up to the daring task they were about to take on. So the boys made their way to the sickest, slickest, wickest, thickest, dickinest car ever… This bad bitch: 

 

Akira ran to the side of this enormous huge gigantor bingo bongo wompa lumpa hung ass pea in absolute awe. Akira assumed the position of t-posing and clipped into the car. Ryo also did the same but he kinda like… ragdolled in there after the initial animation started.

As they got into the giant fucking pea, Akira’s mouth began to water. Oh how he craved…. He craved and hungered for the most delicious artifact that is humanity’s claim to fame… The succulent eggs folded and mixed into the shape of an omelette with fire-braised and roasted bell peppers… The sweetness yet extremely absolutely potent nasty little fucking onions i hate onions oh my god, jalapenos of extravagant qualities and quantities. Served with the most luscious hash browns this side of Ryo’s eyelashes!.... Which was bestowed upon the name….the ‘Wild West Omelette’.


End file.
